Evil Dead [2013] > The Evil Dead [1981] (with Kevin Parker)

We already have Sam Raimi's 1981 low-budget horror classic The Evil Dead (and its two beloved comedic sequels), why do we need Evil Dead, the remake/reimaging of the original by Fede Álvarez? So said horror fanatics in 2013. In response, Kevin Parker takes a page out of one of the newer film's most devastatingly gory weapons and says, "Because it totally nails it!" Your mileage may vary, but why not spend a night in a secluded cabin listening to our breakdown of the whole bloody mess?